A Little More Space and a Little Less Chaos
Let's talk about the surprising power of mapping out logistics.
Y’all: holy hell have I been in it. This business thing is giving me the perfect opportunity to focus on exactly the type of minutia that I adore.
Pivoting my work to fall under the umbrella of my new LLC has been kinda epic. It’s allowed me to really be strategic, intentional, and conscious about the work I’m moving forward with and sit with the reality that our personal energy output is indeed finite. I’m still in the middle of this reckoning and I’m determined to do my best to set myself up for success.
Admittedly, I nearly panicked when given the opportunity to write out an example of how I might plan my day now that I’m fully self-employed. I’m very, very used to being self-employed, freelancing, and acting as the master of my domain. During the times I’ve had full-time gigs, I’ve balanced them with side hustles with the precision (and creepiness) of a contortionist.
Picky & choosey
But I’m trying to grow what I do—not remain stagnant—so I *have to have to have to* be discerning as fuck. Despite my familiarity with self-employment, annoyingly, I have a very short memory when it comes to how many hours there are in the day; I constantly think there are more than they are. And although I don’t think I’m terrible at time management, most days I wind up dragging at least one calendar item to the next day because I simply ran out of time.
There are a few other wild cards I’m dealing with, as well. One is that I’m in the midst of trying to get one (or more) book-related projects locked in (this is slow-rolling, but I promise to keep you posted). So in my time allocation, I need to have some flexible hours where I could plug in more in-depth, long-form writing … without sacrificing other projects I’m invested in.
There are two other variables you could interpret as being at odds with one another, but I don’t see it that way. They are: 1. I don’t like my schedule to be jam-packed with no breathing space or room for creativity (or dog-walking), and 2. Many of the projects I currently have will just not monetize much more than they already have. That’s just the nature of being both in the arts and advocacy.
That said, I need to create sustainable income. I was a terribly paid actor—then a terribly paid activist—back in my twenties. And I made inconsistent income in my thirties—when I really came into my own as an author and editor. Part of coming into my own meant recognizing that there’s very little money in traditional authoring. And so I have to be creative, ironically.
Logistically speaking, that means I need to have one or two areas that can scale over months, years, and decades. And plugging that into real-time, that means I need to make space in my day-to-day to nurture those areas.
Overbooked & over it
It’s very, very easy for me to over-book myself. It’s second nature to me, really. Part of that is tied to the loop-de-loop of my anxiety, which has historically been a perfect breeding ground to metastasize—thanks to my overcommitted schedule.
It goes something like this: I over-commit > I get super anxious about my deadlines > I bust ass to meet them, sometimes hiring assistants to help me > occasionally I don’t get jobs done because of how over-booked I am, but I usually finagle a way to get it done enough > which also stresses me out because I like to be very good at what I do. Rinse and repeat.
It’s time to change that record. The record keeps skipping anyway. Get me off this stupid (but chic! It’s vintage!) turntable.
Planning logistics when you are a solopreneur or a creative type (or, ah-hem, both) is not always full of sunshine and rainbows, but it can be empowering. I’ve recently recommitted to a relationship with an old flame—Asana, the task- and management planner—and I’ve been enjoying being wined and dined by the many tools this platform offers.
Romance & practicality
Understanding my yearning for more organization and focus, my wife, Moore, exercised her romantic side (which is tightly woven together with her practical side) and bought me a giant posterboard, magically turned it into a weekly calendar (thanks to some cute silver washi tape), and cut up card stock that we can move around within the days, thanks to tape loops. I am a visual learner, so it helps me to see how much time I can devote to each project—ensuring I have enough bandwidth to focus on those scalable aspirations, too.
This is very much a work in progress, but I’ve decided to show it to you even though for some reason I feel like it’s incredibly personal:
In our next iteration, Moore and I have decided on a few categories to divide up more specifically (including a self-care card, which is currently part of the “personal/business/coaching” one), and we plan on color coding the work cards differently from the non-work ones.
Here are some of the goals and benefits in having this posterboard beside me in my office:
Even though I use Asana and my Google Calendar (by way of Fantastical) for the more granular stuff, and to keep track of my schedule and tasks, this posterboard allows me a quick glimpse at how full my schedule is. I need to consider this when asked to take on additional projects. I don’t plan on updating this daily, or even weekly, but I do want to change the “tiles” around at least a couple times a month to make sure I’m focusing on the projects that align with my values, while ensuring I’m leaving space for creativity and, at least somewhat, scalability and monetization.
Similarly, this is a bit of a reality check for me. Last night, when I was putting together my first day, my immediate thought after filling it out was, “Am I doing enough work?” I was concerned about the amount of non-work in there. Moore and I were both masked (because, my god, she has Covid again!) and she looked at me and said, “Are you serious?” I was, in fact, very serious. So, clearly, I need to correct some narrative I have in my head. The secret to fulfillment and success is not to overpack your schedule with busy work.
After I came to, I looked at my board and felt downright giddy. That’s quite an about face, I know. By the time I filled out all the days, I said to Moore, “My life is so cool!” Something about placing all those writing and podcasting tiles in their spots made me recognize, in a way I hadn’t in a while, how much alignment there already is with my career. I felt a renewed sense of appreciation—and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t solely focused on what I didn’t (yet) have.
The process of building this also made me feel like I was engaging a part of my brain that remains asleep when I’m dealing with technology. The tangible nature of placing those tiles in their spots made it all sink in better. Of course, that makes sense. I spent many years as an actor and would always print out my scripts that I needed to memorize and analyze. And one trick I’ve learned in editing is that a printed out version of whatever you’re working on will inevitably shine light on different parts that need attention than if it was just on the screen. I’m not only a visual learner, but I’m also a tangible and experiential one. This board adds energy and focus to my schedule and my projects.
Here’s more vegan food for thought: On that posterboard, displayed in darling rainbow card stock, is what I might have once described as my worst nightmare: Not. Enough. Time. In. The. Day.
But, I mean, other people manage to slay at life somehow, so why can’t I? I can. I can! That’s what I’m doing. That’s where my brain is. Somewhere between that posterboard and that Asana project and my coaching and my scheming and my drive is where my brain is living these days. Your brain is welcome to come for a visit any time.
Saying no & screaming yup
I’m going to embrace logistics, not fear them. I’m going to see what I once defined as parameters as, instead, reminders that I am a human being (not a human doing) and I must build the tiles—and the life—that I want. This means saying no to others and to myself. As so many people remind me, saying no to one thing is the flip side of the coin to saying yes to something else.
Interestngly, even already in this process, I have begun to recognize how deep my people-pleasing ways go sometimes. Urgently, I need to remember that I am not going just to be faced with saying no to projects that don’t suit me; sometimes, maybe oftentimes, I’ll be face to face with saying no to projects that indeed sound fascinating. And that’s the rub.
My next order of business, aside from color coding this board and changing around some of the categories, is to create a little more space and a little less chaos. I have already schemed how I will better use my early mornings for writing, especially once a new book enters the picture.
But I do need to ensure that whatever I’m doing, however I’m trying to slay this, I need to include more unplanned space and time. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be working, but—especially when there are so many creative pursuits involved—I want to retrain my brain to be cool beans with not scheduling every goddamn second of my day.
Much like the self-trust I talked about last week as it relates to lines of credit, I want to learn how to trust that I will still be highly effective (probably more so!) if and when I can leave more wiggle room in my calendar. This is gonna be tough, but I’m up for the challenge.
And so there you have it. “Logistics” is not a dirty word, or at least, it doesn’t have to be. And the only way we can change these deeply engrained behaviors—such as no longer letting anxiety and overcommittment dictate our days—is by facing, sometimes on a romantic posterboard, what it is we are spending our time doing.
Left and right, I see people I know getting very stuck in their ways. They feel their work must be relentless or everything will shatter. Boy, can I relate to that! I, too, suffer from hypervigilance—and I recognize the times in my life when that probably saved me in one way or another.
That shit is addictive, though. And I’m not coming to you from the other side of it; I have not beat this beast completely by any means. This is all a work in progress, as is my posterboard. As am I.
As are we all.
xo,
jazz
P.S. Thank you again so very much for those of you who took my survey! It helped clarify so much for me and will help me determine how I move forward with certain aspects of Jasmin’s Jargon—including what I decide to put behind a pay wall for paid members (I’m thinking videos), how I move forward with my own coaching and consulting (hit me up if you’d like to discuss), and, frankly, how to describe what it is I’m doing here (y’all are some smart cookies). Also, big congrats to Katya for winning a copy of either of my books (Katya, I emailed you!) in the drawing.
Efficiency takes creativity. You’ve got it!
excellent as always!
fun phrases include:
"discerning as fuck"
"I have to be creative, ironically."
“My life is so cool!”
"more vegan food for thought"
"Saying no & screaming yup"
love!